When parents get divorced, it is common to find homes near each other so that children can easily visit both parents. But sometimes it happens than one of the parents wants to live further away, sometimes even on the other side of the country. That happens in the story of Anja, Rob and their son Quinn. It is mother Anja who, for a new man in her life, wants to move to a small village 2 hours away from her current residence. Can and should that just happen?

How the story of Rob and Anja begins

It is 2014 when Rob and Anja meet in a pub. It’s love at first sight. They are madly in love and soon their happiness is sealed with the arrival of son Quinn. Anja and Rob both have custody of their son and everything is going well, until after several years Anja decides she is no longer happy and wants to divorce Rob.

Anja wants to move for her new boyfriend

The relationship between Anja and Rob is still good in the beginning, they have a lot of contact with each other and even go on vacation together so they can let their son experience real family life. Everything changes when a new man enters Anja’s life. This man lives in a small village on the other side of the country, a few hours’ drive from his current home in Amsterdam. With the new man, Anja wants to move on, so after some time she decides that she and Quinn will move to her new boyfriend’s hometown.

Anja has already arranged everything, Rob just needs to sign

Mother Anja has already arranged everything for her and her child’s move, even a new school. All Rob has to do is sign and agree. When Rob does not, Anja decides to go to court. She is asking the judge to grant permission to move and register with the school instead of Rob : substitute permission.

Arranging substitute consent after divorce

At that point, Rob reports to our practice. He is very sad about Anja’s decision and does not want to consent to the move. For him, the move means he will see Quinn much less. Quinn will soon be able to come only on weekends, and that is precisely when Rob works in his catering business in Amsterdam. It is important to Rob that he can continue to see Quinn during the week.

On top of that, Rob has no car; he lives and works in downtown Amsterdam. A car then is not only impractical, it is expensive and also unnecessary. When his son goes to live in a small village a few hundred kilometers away, where there is no train or other public transportation, Rob faces a big problem.

A surprise in court

It is time for Anja and Rob to meet in court, where a decision on Quinn’s whereabouts will be made. At that point, it turns out that Anja is over six months pregnant by her new boyfriend. For her, an additional reason that Quinn must move with her, since that way he can grow up with his half-sister or half-brother. Rob fears that the new pregnancy will benefit Anja.

Judge listens to father

Rob also gets to tell his story in court. He thinks it is important that Quinn can stay in Amsterdam, where Quinn has his family, friends, his school and his sport. It is where Quinn grew up. Rob says he is willing to work less in his catering business if necessary to continue seeing Quinn. But the move, Rob can’t agree to that. Especially not when Anja indicated that she would not be able to take Quinn back and forth to Amsterdam for the next few months due to the delivery and maternity period of her second child. For Rob, this means not being able to see son for some time or having to arrange transportation to pick up and drop off his son each weekend.

What does the judge decide?

The judge asks Rob and Anja to first make another attempt to work things out together. The trial is temporarily suspended so that father and mother, with their lawyers, can go out in the hallway to see if there is a solution after all. Unfortunately, even now father and mother do not come to an agreement: they are diametrically opposed and both feel they are acting in Quinn’s best interests.

Rob and Anja notify the judge that they cannot make a decision that both parties agree on. It is now up to the judge to pass judgment; the verdict will follow four weeks later.

A surprising verdict

The judge ruled that Anja would not receive substitute permission to move with her son Quinn. A decision quite unexpected. The judge also decides that Quinn will live with his father in Amsterdam and that the mother will have weekend visitation arrangements . So Quinn can be with his mother on weekends, but picking up and dropping off Quinn would be the job of Anja or her new partner and not Rob’s responsibility.