Forms of divorce – which approach suits your situation?

What forms of divorce are there?

Divorce through the court

Those who are married can only divorce through the court. The divorce lawyer files a petition stating that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.
In the case of a joint petition, the partners jointly draw up a comprehensive divorce settlement agreement. This contains all agreements regarding the home, assets, pension, alimony and, in the case of minor children, the parenting plan.
This agreement must be signed by both partners and filed by a lawyer at the court as a petition for divorce.

The judge assesses the petition and the attachments. The divorce is only final after the decree has been registered in the civil status records.
If partners cannot reach an agreement, it is advisable for each to engage their own lawyer to represent their interests and guide the process.

---

Legal separation

In this form, spouses remain legally married but live separately. The community of property can be divided, but the marriage formally continues to exist.
This route is sometimes chosen for religious or financial reasons.
After three years, the marriage can still be dissolved.
Please note: living permanently separate can have different tax consequences than an official divorce.
Agreements regarding alimony and care can be recorded in a settlement agreement.

---

Termination of registered partnership

A registered partnership can be terminated without a judge if there are no minor children. The partners then sign a termination agreement at a lawyer’s or notary’s office.
If there are minor children, a petition to the court is mandatory.
In that case, largely the same rules apply as for a divorce.
Read more about mediation during divorce if you wish to make agreements together.

---

Separating after cohabitation

If you live together and separate, you do not need to divorce formally.
However, it is important to make sound agreements regarding the home, assets, and any children.
If you have a cohabitation agreement, this often determines which agreements apply legally upon separation.
For parents who separate, cooperation remains essential.
A written agreement or parenting plan helps to maintain peace and clarity.
Also view how the division of assets is legally arranged.

Routes: consultation, mediation, joint petition or legal proceedings

Collaborative divorce

Parties make agreements together with legal guidance.
The lawyer records these agreements in a settlement agreement that is submitted to the court for approval.
This form closely resembles a mediation process, but without a mediator; parties are guided directly by their lawyers.

---

Mediation

During mediation, an independent mediator guides the discussions between the partners.
The goal is to reach agreements together in a calm manner regarding finances, care, housing, and the future.
The agreements made are included in a settlement agreement and – if applicable – in a parenting plan.
When parties agree, a lawyer can file a joint petition for divorce with the court on behalf of both.
The judge usually ratifies the agreements in writing and without a hearing.

---

Joint petition for divorce

A joint petition is the most frequently chosen route when parties agree on all arrangements.
The lawyer files one petition with the court on behalf of both partners, together with the settlement agreement and, if applicable, the parenting plan.
The court assesses the documents and grants the divorce without a hearing.
This route can result from mediation, but also from consultation between lawyers.
It is the fastest and least burdensome procedure when there is full agreement.

---

Legal proceedings in case of disagreement

If consultation is unsuccessful, one partner can file a unilateral petition.
The other party can file a defense, after which the court decides on alimony, care arrangements, and the division of assets.
This route provides clarity but is more intensive and time-consuming.

Process steps in divorce

1. Orientation and choice of route
   Discuss with your lawyer whether mediation or consultation is possible. This determines whether you can file a joint petition together or whether one of you starts the legal proceedings unilaterally.
2. Drafting documents
   The lawyer drafts the settlement agreement and – if applicable – the parenting plan. This contains all agreements regarding assets, care, housing, and alimony.
   Parents are advised to regularly discuss whether agreements still suit the children.
3. Filing the petition
   Your lawyer files the (joint or unilateral) petition with the court.
4. Court proceedings
   In the case of a joint petition, the process usually takes place in writing.
   In the case of a unilateral petition, the court may schedule a hearing in which both parties explain their positions.
5. Ruling and registration
   After the decree, the lawyer registers the divorce in the civil status records.
   Only then are the legal ties between the partners severed and the divorce is final.

Practical examples

Joint petition with mediation

A couple with two young children wanted to separate in good consultation. During mediation, agreements were made regarding care, housing, and alimony. The children were actively involved in the parenting plan so that their wishes could be taken into account.
The lawyer filed one joint petition, which was ratified by the court without a hearing.
The calm approach prevented unnecessary tension and provided stability for the family.

Unilateral petition due to lack of consultation

One of the partners wanted to sell the house, the other did not. Because consultation was no longer possible, the lawyer filed a unilateral petition for divorce.
The judge ultimately decided on the division of the house and the alimony.
This example shows how legal proceedings can bring clarity when consultation fails.

Termination of registered partnership without a judge

Two partners without minor children terminated their registered partnership with a termination agreement at their lawyer’s office.
The agreements regarding assets and the home were finalized within a few weeks.
This route is often suitable in cases of harmonious consultation and a clear financial situation.

Divorce for entrepreneurs and Director-Major Shareholders (DGA)

An entrepreneur with their own private limited company (BV) wanted to divorce after the relationship had irretrievably broken down. The question was how the shares and the company value should be divided.
Under the guidance of our divorce lawyers, an independent business valuation was performed. This allowed the parties to make agreements regarding buyouts, alimony, and pensions without endangering the company.
This approach demonstrates the importance of both legal and financial insight for entrepreneurs.

International divorce process

A Dutch-German couple lived partly in the Netherlands and partly in Germany. The question was which court had jurisdiction and which law applied.
Our international family law lawyers assessed the situation based on the Brussels II-ter Regulation.
Through timely coordination, the proceedings could be conducted in the Netherlands, providing clarity on alimony and child arrangements.