In brief
Divorce with children refers to a divorce involving minor children, for which the law imposes additional obligations on both parents.
- In a divorce involving minor children, a parenting plan is legally required. This document establishes agreements regarding parental authority, residence, and the provision of information.
- In most cases, both parents retain joint parental authority over the children after a divorce, unless the court decides otherwise.
- The division of care and upbringing is established in a contact arrangement or co-parenting arrangement, depending on the situation of both parents.
- The financial contribution of a parent toward the costs of care and upbringing is settled through child support.
- Depending on the circumstances, a divorce with children can be finalized through consultation, mediation, or legal proceedings.
The parenting plan: what is it and what does it contain?
If you are getting divorced and there are minor children involved, you must draw up a parenting plan. This is mandatory — the plan is submitted to the court along with the divorce petition (Article 1:247a of the Dutch Civil Code).
The parenting plan must include at least the following:
- which parent the children stay with and when (the care arrangement)
- how you will inform each other about important matters concerning the children
- how you will consult with each other regarding decisions about the children
- the amount of child maintenance — the financial contribution toward the costs of the children
The court assesses whether the plan is workable and in the best interests of the children. This interest is paramount, as established in Article 1:247 of the Dutch Civil Code and Article 3 of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. If the plan is not in order, the judge may refuse approval or require additional agreements. If the parents cannot reach an agreement, the judge may establish an arrangement themselves (Article 1:253a of the Dutch Civil Code).
Parental authority after a divorce
In most cases, both parents retain parental responsibility for their children after a divorce. This does not change automatically due to the divorce (Article 1:251 of the Dutch Civil Code). Joint responsibility means that you both remain involved in important decisions: school, medical care, and place of residence.
Only in exceptional situations will the judge award parental responsibility to one parent. This occurs if there is a serious risk that the child will become trapped between the parents, or if a change is truly necessary for the child (Article 1:251a of the Dutch Civil Code). The threshold is intentionally high — the judge assumes in principle that parents are capable of making decisions together.
Co-parenting or a contact arrangement: what suits your situation?
The division of daily care for children after a divorce can be organized in various ways.
Co-parenting
In co-parenting, the children stay with both parents to an equal or near-equal extent. This requires good cooperation between parents and a stable situation on both sides. Co-parenting is not appropriate in all cases; the age of the children, the living situation, and the mutual relationship all play a role.
Contact arrangement
When the children have their main residence with one parent, a contact arrangement is established for the time the children spend with the other parent. The arrangement is tailored to the age and needs of the children. In many cases, the court assesses what is in the best interests of the child if the parents cannot reach an agreement themselves.
Would you like to know which division best suits your situation? A divorce lawyer helps in establishing agreements that are legally sound and align with the situation of both parents and the children.
Child support: how is the contribution calculated?
The contribution toward the costs of the children is calculated using the Trema standards. The calculation works in three steps: determining the need, calculating the financial capacity of both parents, and applying the care discount. The discount amounts to 15%, 25%, or 35% depending on the percentage of care provided.
The obligation continues until your child is 18 years old. If your child is studying after their eighteenth birthday or does not yet have their own income, the obligation may continue until the age of 21 (Article 1:395a of the Dutch Civil Code). You can read more about the calculation on the child maintenance page.
What is the procedure for a divorce with children?
A divorce with children largely follows the same procedure as a regular divorce, but with additional steps regarding the parenting plan.
- Orientation: determining which agreements regarding children and finances are necessary.
- Drafting the parenting plan: through consultation, mediation, or the court.
- Submitting the divorce petition to the court, with the parenting plan attached.
- Court ruling and registration of the divorce.
- Implementation of the agreements and, if necessary, adjustment in case of changed circumstances.
Would you like to know how the procedure works in your situation? Contact us; it is for orientation purposes and without obligation.
What if parents cannot reach an agreement together?
When parents cannot agree on the parenting plan, the contact arrangement, or child support, the court can make a decision. Each parent is then represented by their own lawyer.
In such cases, the court assesses what is in the best interests of the child, whereby the well-being of the children carries more weight than the wishes of the parents. In many cases, the court also advises engaging a parenting or contact counselor.
Are you stuck in negotiations? Discuss your situation with a divorce lawyer. Depending on the circumstances, several routes are possible—from renewed consultation to legal proceedings.
If one of you lives abroad, or if one of you wishes to move with the children after the divorce, additional rules apply. The jurisdiction of the court regarding matters concerning children is determined by the 1996 Hague Child Protection Convention and, within Europe, by the Brussels IIter Regulation. The starting point is that the court of the country where the child habitually resides has jurisdiction.
If a parent wishes to move abroad with the children, consent is generally required from the other parent or the court (the so-called relocation procedure). The judge weighs the interests of the child against the interests of both parents. Taking children without consent falls under the Hague Convention on International Child Abduction and can lead to return proceedings.
You can read more about international aspects on the international family law page. Divorce with children and an international component
Based on Real Cases
Parenting plan in case of a difference of opinion
In one case, Simmelink Lawyers assisted a client in a divorce where both parents had a different division of care in mind. One wanted co-parenting, while the other did not see it as feasible given the work schedules.
By carefully mapping out the situation and taking the interests of the children as a starting point, an arrangement could be established that was workable for both parents and legally sound.
Recalculation of child support after a change in income
A client contacted us after a change in his income situation. The previously established child support no longer matched the new circumstances. In such a case, the legal framework is important: a request for modification is possible when there are changed circumstances that the court could not foresee at the time. Depending on the circumstances, there are several routes possible to adjust the child support.
Are you unsure about the best course of action in your situation?
Schedule an appointment with us.
Our Attorneys at Law
At Simmelink Lawyers, you work with lawyers specialized in family law, international family law, and inheritance law. We work intensively together on solutions that are legally sound and do personal justice to your situation.
Carla Simmelink – Family Law Attorney, International Family Law and Inheritance Law
Family Law Attorney, International Family Law and Inheritance Law
Valerie Lingg – Family Law Attorney, International Family Law
Family Law Attorney, International Family Law
Eva Zaunbrecher-Boschloo – Family Law Attorney, International Family Law
Lawyer at Law (International) Family Law
Clients are guided by a dedicated lawyer who oversees the entire file and communicates discreetly.
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes. In a divorce involving minor children, a parenting plan is legally required. The plan is submitted along with the divorce petition. Without a parenting plan, the court cannot process the petition. If parents cannot reach an agreement themselves, the court will establish the plan.
In most cases, both parents retain joint parental authority over the children after the divorce. This does not change automatically due to a divorce.
Sole parental authority is only granted when joint parental authority is demonstrably contrary to the best interests of the child.
This is general information; every situation requires its own assessment.
When a parent fails to comply with the established contact arrangement, there are legal means to enforce compliance. In many cases, the court assesses whether there are grounds for imposing a penalty payment or modifying the arrangement.
Depending on the circumstances, conciliation or mediation can also be a first step. A lawyer can advise which route is most appropriate in your situation.
Moving abroad with minor children is only possible with the consent of the other parent or with a court decision. Without this consent, a move can be classified as international child abduction. Depending on the circumstances and the interests of the children, the court assesses whether the request will be granted.
The amount of child maintenance is calculated based on the needs of the children and the financial capacity of both parents. Dutch courts apply the Trema‑norms for this purpose.
The calculation depends on income, housing costs, and the division of care. This is general information; the exact calculation varies per situation.
