In brief
Those who separate without marriage or a registered partnership are not subject to matrimonial property law. In many cases, you must make your own arrangements regarding the home, assets, and children.
What does ‘separating’ mean from a legal perspective?
‘Separating’ means that partners end their relationship without being married or in a registered partnership.
For unmarried cohabitants, there is no statutory community of property. Everything you own or share together reverts to property law or agreements in a cohabitation contract.
There is also no statutory division of pension. Agreements made between yourselves are leading.
Because the law regulates fewer matters automatically than in a marriage, it is important to make written agreements yourselves.
Important points for consideration:
- no statutory duty to divide assets as in a marriage;
- agreements regarding the home, assets, and debts must be recorded in writing;
- no automatic division of pension;
- in the case of joint children, parental authority applies as previously established;
- child and spousal maintenance are not automatic, but can be agreed upon;
- agreements in a cohabitation contract are decisive;
- parents must make separate agreements regarding authority and the division of care;
- applicable law may differ in international situations.
Difference between divorce and separation
In a divorce or the dissolution of a registered partnership, the court decides on the division of assets, maintenance, and care arrangements.
For cohabitants, you must record this yourselves, often in consultation or via a lawyer.
In many cases, a lawyer helps to legally formalize the agreements so that they are enforceable later.
Read more about the difference between divorce and separation.
What do you need to arrange when you separate?
Housing and property
Do you live together in an owner-occupied home? The division then depends on who the owner is and what has been agreed upon. Property law as recorded in the deed or the cohabitation contract often applies.
Read more about housing and property when separating.
Children and parenthood
For children of unmarried parents, parental authority is not automatically joint. You can establish this through acknowledgement and registration with the court. You must also make agreements regarding the division of care and child maintenance.
Read more about children when separating without marriage.
Agreements and contracts
Many couples have a cohabitation contract or joint assets. It is important to carefully review or terminate these agreements, potentially with the help of a lawyer who has extensive experience with practical situations.
When is legal guidance advisable?
In many cases, it is advisable to seek legal guidance when:
- there are joint assets or a home;
- you have children together;
- you cannot reach an agreement on the division of assets or contact arrangements;
- one of you lives or works abroad.
We help you bring structure to what needs to be arranged and can legally formalize agreements.
Contact us for an initial assessment of your situation.
What is the best way to separate?
Consultation
In many cases, it is possible to make agreements together regarding the home and children. This prevents unnecessary tension.
Mediation
A mediator helps to record balanced agreements. We regularly assist clients who reach clear and sustainable arrangements through mediation.
Legal proceedings
Sometimes consultation is no longer possible. In such cases, the court can make a decision regarding authority, contact, or property.
In many cases, the court assesses who the legal owner is or what is in the best interests of the child.
Would you like to know more about separating?
Schedule an appointment with us.
Practical examples
In international situations, we often assess whether Dutch law applies to cohabitants with a home in the Netherlands.
- In one case, we assisted a couple who separated after twelve years of cohabitation. They owned a home together; through consultation, the buyout was legally formalized so that the bank could cooperate in the release from joint and several liability.
- Another client sought advice on child maintenance after ending cohabitation. In consultation, a settlement agreement was drafted with clear payment arrangements.
- In an international relationship involving children, the court ultimately established the main place of residence in the Netherlands because consultation was no longer possible.
Our Attorneys at Law
Simmelink Lawyers specializes in family law and international family law. We regularly assist unmarried cohabitants in recording or settling agreements.
Carla Simmelink – Family Law Attorney, International Family Law and Inheritance Law
Family Law Attorney, International Family Law and Inheritance Law
Valerie Lingg – Family Law Attorney, International Family Law
Family Law Attorney, International Family Law
Eva Zaunbrecher-Boschloo – Family Law Attorney, International Family Law
Lawyer at Law (International) Family Law
Clients are guided by a dedicated lawyer who oversees the entire file and communicates discreetly.
Frequently Asked Questions
In many cases, it is advisable to record agreements in writing, especially in the case of a joint home or children. This prevents lack of clarity or conflicts.
Not always. The court can only be involved if you cannot reach an agreement together regarding authority, residence, or maintenance.
That depends on ownership and the agreements made. Often, one of the partners chooses a buyout or sale. A lawyer can help to arrange this properly from a legal standpoint.
There is no statutory duty, but you can make agreements regarding a contribution toward the costs of the children or the partner.
In that case, it may be relevant which country has jurisdiction. In many cases, the Dutch court has jurisdiction if the children or the home are in the Netherlands.
This is general information, not individual legal advice.
