Ex-partner does not comply with parenting plan

When are agreements in a parenting plan legally enforceable?

A signed parenting plan is a binding agreement. As soon as both parents have provided their signatures, the agreements are legally enforceable. If the parenting plan has been ratified by the court in a court order, it also has an enforceable title. This means that compliance can be enforced without a new procedure.

Without an enforceable title, the agreements are still binding, but enforcement requires an extra step involving the court. In Simmelink files, we see that parenting plans without judicial ratification more often lead to implementation problems, because in the event of non-compliance, the other parent must first be brought through a procedure to a binding ruling before a bailiff can take action.

Which forms of non-compliance are most common?

Non-compliance with the parenting plan involves two legally distinct situations, each with its own approach and legal trajectory.

Non-compliance with the care arrangement or contact

This concerns situations where the ex-partner does not allow the children to be picked up or dropped off at the agreed times, systematically frustrates contact moments, or unilaterally changes the division of care. The legal route is via preliminary injunction proceedings at the court based on Article 1:253a of the Dutch Civil Code.

• The court can order compliance with the care arrangement and attach a penalty payment to each violation.
• In serious cases, the court can change the Contact arrangement or take additional measures in the best interests of the child.
• A Supervised Contact Arrangement (BOR) can be used as an intermediate step where social workers supervise the handover, so that the transition for the child runs more smoothly.

Non-payment of child maintenance

If the ex-partner does not pay the established child maintenance, recovery via the LBIO (Landelijk Bureau Inning Onderhoudsbijdragen) is possible. The LBIO can seize the income or benefits of the defaulter without the need for a new preliminary injunction judgment. The condition is that the maintenance has been established by the court or recorded in a notarial deed.

• Engaging the LBIO is free of charge for the receiving parent.
• The LBIO also collects maintenance arrears retroactively, up to five years back based on Article 3:308 of the Dutch Civil Code (statute of limitations).
• In cross-border situations, maintenance can also be recovered abroad via international treaties, particularly the EU Maintenance Regulation (EC No. 4/2009) within the EU.

What steps can you take in case of non-compliance?

The approach depends on the severity and frequency of the non-compliance. Escalation follows three steps, each with its own procedural logic.

1. Written demand via a lawyer

A lawyer sends a formal letter to the ex-partner requesting that they still fulfill the agreements, with a legal explanation of the consequences of non-compliance. In Simmelink files, we see that a written demand more often leads to a restoration of compliance than parties anticipate, as the legal gravity and potential procedural consequences often only truly hit home upon receipt of a lawyer’s letter.

2. Mediation

When direct communication does not work but a procedure can still be avoided, mediation offers a solution. A mediator helps both parents discuss the factual situation and make new workable agreements that are feasible for both. Mediation works especially well when underlying communication problems have led to non-compliance and the agreements themselves are not the problem.

3. Preliminary injunction proceedings at the court

When mediation also fails to yield results, compliance can be claimed via preliminary injunction proceedings at the court. The judge can impose a penalty payment for every time the ex-partner fails to comply with the agreements. A preliminary injunction yields a ruling within a few weeks. The legal basis for enforcing the care arrangement is Article 1:253a of the Dutch Civil Code.

What if your ex-partner refuses to sign or change the parenting plan?

If the ex-partner refuses to sign the parenting plan, the court can be asked to establish an arrangement. This is done via a petition filed by a lawyer. The judge then establishes an arrangement that is in the best interests of the child, even without the consent of the other parent.

When the ex-partner blocks an amendment to the existing plan while circumstances have changed significantly, the court can also be involved to impose the change. A lawyer assesses whether the changed circumstances are sufficiently weighty for a successful request for an amendment to the parenting plan.

What is a penalty payment and how does it work in practice?

A penalty payment is a sum of money imposed by the judge that the ex-partner owes for every violation of the agreements. In a preliminary injunction, the judge sets both the amount of the penalty per violation and the maximum total amount. In practice, the threat of a penalty is often sufficient to achieve compliance before the penalty is actually forfeited.

Once the penalty has been imposed and the ex-partner violates the agreement again, the penalty can be executed directly via a bailiff, without a new lawsuit. The enforceable title of the preliminary injunction judgment allows for direct collection. In practice, judges weigh three factors when determining the amount of the penalty: the severity of the non-compliance, the financial position of the ex-partner, and the extent to which the violations affect the interests of the child.

International situations: child abduction and cross-border non-compliance

When the ex-partner lives abroad or there is a threat of child abduction, additional legal routes apply. The Hague Convention on International Child Abduction 1980 provides a procedure for the return of children who have been taken abroad without permission. The Netherlands is a party to this convention, as are a large number of other states.

In the event of an imminent or actual international departure with the children without consent, speed is crucial. An international family law lawyer can immediately file a request for return or ask the court for an emergency measure, such as a travel ban or the seizure of passports. In the Netherlands, the Central Authority of the Ministry of Justice and Security is the point of contact for international child abduction cases. Read more about international family law.

Practical examples

Structural frustration of contact

One parent found that the ex-partner structurally failed to hand over the children at the agreed times, with ever-changing excuses about school activities or illness. As a result, the agreements from the parenting plan were eroded in practice, without an amendment being formally agreed upon.

The legal assessment focused on the demonstrability of the pattern of non-compliance and the impact on the relationship between the child and the non-custodial parent. A written demand did not lead to restoration; subsequently, preliminary injunction proceedings were started. The court ordered the ex-partner to comply with the care arrangement and attached a penalty payment of one hundred euros per violation to the ruling, with a maximum of ten thousand euros.

Arrears in child maintenance via the LBIO

A parent had not received child maintenance from the ex-partner for more than six months, even though the contribution had been established by the court. The financial situation became dire, with mounting arrears in the costs of care and upbringing of the child.

Because the maintenance had been established by the court, the LBIO could be engaged directly without prior proceedings. The bureau seized the ex-partner’s income via the employer and recovered the overdue payments. There were no costs associated with this procedure for the receiving parent; engaging the LBIO is free of charge for those receiving maintenance.

Ex-partner refuses to cooperate with modification

A parent sought advice because the ex-partner refused to cooperate in adjusting the care arrangement after a move for work. The existing arrangement became unfeasible due to the move, but the ex-partner used the blockage as leverage in other matters.

The legal analysis focused on substantiating the changed circumstances and the child’s interest in a workable arrangement. A new arrangement was requested via a petition to the court based on Article 1:253a of the Dutch Civil Code. The judge established an adjusted arrangement that took into account the travel distance and the child’s school weeks, with a fallback arrangement for unexpected scheduling issues.

What are the costs of an enforcement procedure?

The costs depend on the route followed. A written demand via a lawyer involves limited costs, depending on the time for analysis and drafting the letter. In a preliminary injunction, the court fee for 2026 for cases of indeterminate value is €341 for natural persons, plus additional lawyer fees depending on the complexity of the file and the number of hearings. For subsidized legal aid via the Legal Aid Board, the court fee for those with limited means is €93. Read more about rates and costs.

Engaging the LBIO for unpaid child maintenance is free of charge for the receiving parent; the costs are recovered from the defaulter.

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